November 11, 2005

Holiday Trouble


I have a problem with the Coca-Cola company. A big problem. You see, the first box of holiday cans of Coke has entered our home. Now, I am not going to complain about Season Treason. That really isn't a problem for me when it comes to Coke. Of course, every year I am a little troubled when I have to purchase holiday canned/bottled Coke AFTER New Years because as I try to explain, Christmas decorations up after New Years are BAD LUCK. But, I give them a pass on that. Not Coke's fault that too many people drink alcohol and the like on the holidays instead of Coke.

My problem is this, and hopefully Coke will remedy this in later releases of the holiday can this year. Surely there WILL be a later release because this can is unacceptable. Why? because there is NO SANTA on the can. None. Not a one. Instead there are polar bears! POLAR BEARS! Those dumb Coke POLAR BEARS. Why is this a problem? Obviously, non-Santa folk drink Coke. I get that.

However, Santa and Coke go together like mistletoe and kissing. Santa in America pretty much got the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy treatment courtesy of Coca-Cola in the 1930s. They cemented him in the cool red and white outfit (Coca-Cola colors of course) (where he used to run around in a rainbow of colors, red among them) Plastered the guy all over the place.

Now they have dumped Santa in favor of polar bears. How dare they? It is just wrong. Without the iconic image of Santa, my son at two wouldn't have been able to tell me that Santa certainly didn't drink milk, he needed a BOTTLE Coke. Canned coke while he appears there is never Santa's beverage of choice. So, yeah, Santa gets Coke at our house and always will, even if it means that I have to go to the store Christmas Eve to get a bottle coke especially for Santa. Santa appreciates this a great deal. So many misguided children and families out there make Santa drink milk without espresso added, clearly not a way to appreciate all the gifts. But, I have to wonder...how will Santa feel about being dumped for Polar Bears? I am worried. I think Santa will be most unhappy.

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3 comments:

Vanda said...

My kids used to leave scotch and cookies for Santa. Much better than milk. A pox on coke.

Emsxiety said...

Stupid Coke won against Polar Cola to use those stupid polar bears so now they're just abusing the privilege! Stupid ass polar bears belong on Polar Cola, not on Coke. Gees, we need to write them!

~ nellenelle said...

lmao at scotch... wish mine had left a beer out, but hey... cookies work!

As for Santa, doesn't much faze me, use em, don't use em, whatever. Put out cans with Santa, cans with polar bears, cans with penguins, let everyone be happy... and drink coke (if that is what they like.) I'll take seltzer with lime, please.

Hope yer feelin' better, tw...